Broken Wings
by teddylupin-snape
Summary: Remus leaves Tonks when he finds out that she's pregnant. Remus/Tonks


**This was written for: The Olympics Competition: Gymnastics (Prompts used: ****Floor****—write a song-inspired fic; Optional: ****Sunset, A Ring, Daybreak, the genre Romance, 'I missed you'****)**

**All Sorts of Love Competition – ****Canon-love**

**Opposite Day Challenge (Write a ****Remus/Tonks fic that can fit in canon****)**

**Song Fic Boot Camp (Song: ****Just Give Me a Reason – P!nk; Prompt: Father****). **

**Also partially inspired by the Andrea Gibson quote: "I know you think this world is too dark to even dream in colour but I've seen flowers bloom at midnight. I've seen kites fly in grey skies and they were real close to looking like the sunrise, and sometimes it takes the most wounded wings, the most broken things to notice how strong the breeze is, how precious the flight."**

**Inspired by the song Just Give Me A Reason, especially the lines: ****Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough / Just a second, we're not broken, just bent and we can learn to love again**

xox

You sit on your old bed in your parents' house, nearly two months pregnant and all alone. You don't know where Remus is now—he'd stormed off after another heated debate regarding the baby.

You had tried to convince him to stay, but he countered your every plea with a retort of 'You know I'm nothing more than a monster.' With each response, your heart cracked just that much more, like you were venturing out onto thin ice and with each step, you came closer to falling in the icy waters.

Now you are alone in your childhood room on the old twin bed. The sunset shines through your window, and the orange haze casts a soft shadow over the single, dying daisy that sits in a plastic cup on your bedside table. There is a small puddle of water in the cup, and with a silent charm, it refills itself. You can't stand to see something in your room that is dying just as surely as your relationship is.

You hope against hope that Remus will come back by morning. He always does, usually after drowning his sorrows in alcohol at a Muggle bar down the road. Each drunken word he speaks drives more daggers into your heart than his sober words, but somehow they don't upset you just as much. There is a raw pain about them, yes, but the fact that the clear-headed words are ones that he allows to slip out, like he wants to say them, makes you more upset than the thoughtless ones.

You hear a soft knock on your door, followed by a gentle, "May I come in?"

"Yeah, one second, Dad," you mutter, hopping up and pulling open the door.

"How are you?" he asks, taking your face in his hands. His eyes are full of concern and uncertainty.

"I'm alright," you mumble, turning to take a seat on your bed.

"Are you sure you're alright, sweetheart? I know this is hard for you, and I want you to know that your mum and I are here for you, no matter what. He is too, I think. Deep down, but right now, he's just overwhelmed and worried, that's all. It'll all smooth over soon enough."

And you want to believe his every word. You want to think that you can just drift off to sleep and wake up and it'd all be a dream, that Remus would be by your side and he'd be happy and ready to raise a son with you. You want to live in some world of make-believe that would change everything and make it better, but you know that you can't, and a tear escapes and falls slowly down your cheek. Your father reaches forward to wipe it away but by the time he does, more have fallen in its wake and you're shaking with silent tears—for Remus, for the baby, for your parents who have to deal with it all, for yourself, for the hope of a future with Remus and a child that is slowly falling to dust.

"If he's not back by daybreak," you whisper softly. "I'm going looking for him."

It's a promise to yourself and to your father, but most of all, it's a promise to Remus that he can't stay away from you, because you know deep down that you're meant to be together.

Your father nods, kissing you gently on the forehead—_the way Remus should_—before leaving your room.

"'Night," you mumble to his departing figure.

You fall back onto your bed, rolling over to face the window where the faint light of a crescent moon is glowing. You pull the blankets on top of you and finger the wedding ring that rests on your finger. It is simple and beautiful, just what you wanted. You don't ever take it off anymore, especially not on nights when Remus leaves you. You spin the plain silver band around your finger, remembering the day he gave it to you and you and Remus became bonded for life. Or so they said. Sometimes, you felt like you marriage to Remus didn't quite register in his mind—either he didn't realize what the marriage meant yet, or he did, and he was trying to avoid making some misstep. Sometimes, the daring thought leapt across your mind that Remus treated the wedding as casually as a one-night stand, that it made him feel _normal_ for a day, before the pressures of reality sink in.

Eventually, you drift off to sleep, with dreams of werewolves and being alone with the baby flooding your subconscious.

You wake up the next morning, groggy as you remember the conversation from last night. Remus isn't in your bedroom waiting for you to wake, though you don't really expect him to be there. You sit up, pushing your stray hair out of your face and pulling yourself up out of bed. You go to the sitting room off the hall, noticing your parents sitting on the sofa, both staring fixatedly at someone perched in the armchair.

"Morning," you mumble, not paying any attention to the third person in the room, nor caring to find out who it was. You sleepily walk into the kitchen, pouring yourself a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter. Adding a spoonful of sugar and stirring, you take a sip, relishing the way the scalding liquid burns your throat.

Whispers carry from the sitting room, your mother's hushed voice drifts in. "You can't expect her to take you back every time you leave, Remus."

"I know," came the responding sigh.

"I want you as a son-in-law as much as anyone, Remus," your father whispers. "But I don't know how much longer this can last. The leaving every night, she doesn't know where you are and she's scared for you."

"I just—I need to get away from everything, allow me to cool down. I don't want to hurt her, that's the last thing I want."

"We know, but… Now with the baby on the way, she needs you that much more. I understand why you're doing what you're doing, I just need for you to know how she sees it."

They know you're listening, so you make your way into the sitting room and take a seat on the sofa beside your father. Your eyes meet Remus', and you see the remorse his show. "Remus, can I have a word with you?" you ask, standing up to lead him to your room. He nods slowly, getting to his feet.

"I'm sorry," he starts as you both take a seat on your bed. "I'm sorry for…for everything."

"Rem—"

"No. No, I'm sorry for all of it, for running away and leaving you alone and getting you pregnant in the first place. I'm sorry. It…it was all just a big mistake."

"Remus, you listen to me right now. You did _not_ make a mistake. You're just stuck in some black-and-white of being a werewolf. You… you don't know how much you mean to me, Remus." The pleading look in your eyes is overrun by tears as you take his hand in your own.

"Yes, it seems black-and-white, okay. But it _is_, you don't realize it. Who knows how the baby will turn out. I shouldn't have…"

"Look, Remus. Yes, you're…_broken_," you say, as though the word is an explosive on your tongue about to go off. You try to be gentle as you wipe silent tears off your cheeks. "But that does _not_ mean that you can't be fixed. I still love you, I'll always love you. And I can forgive you for leaving but I guarantee you right now that if you aren't here to be a father to the baby, I won't ever be able to forgive you." The fire in your eyes burns down to embers, and you continue hesitantly. "Please," you beg. "Don't leave me again. I missed you. I didn't know where you were or when you were coming back—you scared me, Remus."

"I—I," you mumble fruitlessly.

"See this ring?" you ask, sliding it gently off your finger and holding it up in front of him. "Remember the day you gave me this? The day you vowed to stay by my side, no matter what. Cause I remember that day. And you know what? I never take this ring off, because I'm afraid that if I do, you won't come back. I think that… that if I keep this ring on that you'll always be here for me. Maybe, you'll leave for the night to cool off, but I can still keep the hope that you'll come back. You don't realize how badly I need you to come back." You had given up your futile efforts at wiping away your tears. They continue to fall quickly, and you notice a pinprick of tears in Remus' eyes too. "You claim that you're a monster, but I'm not afraid of you. I never have been. Maybe you're broken, Remus. But you can be fixed, I know you can. And us together? We're not broken—maybe a little bent, sure. But not broken. You can try to give me all the reasons—all the excuses—in the world, but that won't change my mind. The baby needs a father, and there is no other person alive who could ever be a better father than you, Remus."

There's no mistaking it this time. Remus is crying and so are you. He cups your face in his hands, pulling you close to him. "I'm sorry. I love you. Please forgive me?" he asks, hope glistening in his soft eyes in a way it never had before.

You can't bring yourself to say anything, so you nod. "I missed you, Rem. Please, never leave me again."

**.**

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